Pondering is Taking Me Out of the Closet

I like to ponder. Do you? Do you like to mull things over in your brain, letting it wash over you like a wave washing up to shore? I do. I ponder while I’m driving, cleaning, showering, mowing the lawn. Well, you get the picture. But, of course, you have to have something to ponder on. 



Today it’s the Hallmark movie I just watched. It’s the second time. The plot is about 2 women who get caught in a Hallmark movie bubble. They are best friends and one leaves to go to the tropics and Santa and a snowstorm land her in a mythical town and the storyline follows a Hallmark movie line. Her friend and assistant somehow lands there too and after figuring out what was going on did their best to figure how to get out.



Which has led me to pondering. We all have our lives we’re living. But can we get out of it if we want to? And I certainly don’t mean suicide. Which leads me to the next question. If it’s all an illusion as many of the Metaphysicians out there claim, then can we change it? I believe the answer is yes. It’s all about choices. The easy choices are, well, easy to make. 



It’s those tough ones, those heart wrenching ones that we try to avoid at all costs. I remember when I was deciding if I really wanted a divorce with my first of two husbands. That meant I had to actually be the aggressive one, face him and ask for it. Was I doing it for the right reasons? I think it was the hardest thing to do. He was really a good guy. He just wasn’t the love of my life. A fabulous friend but not my great love. Ensuring I was taking the action only for me and no one else, knowing I would hurt him, was so hard. But if I didn’t make the choice for me wouldn’t I be hurting Me? Happily I did find my true love eventually.



And so I go on through my life doing my best to make the choices for me, considering others, weighing the good and bad, and always bringing in Creator and my guides and guardian angel to help me make the decisions. But ultimately it is something I have to do for me.



Roda out of the closet (photo by Jim Lake)

Take for example the fact that I’m coming out of the closet about my metaphysical propensities. It is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I keep imagining people are going to judge me. Depending on who you are, you’ll say woohoo or man, she’s really gone off the deep end.

But, maybe, just maybe, all you’ll really say is, “How cool is that? She’s taken ownership of who she really is and found a home at last.”



As I sit here in bed, 11:53 p.m., pondering on this I’m kind of excited that after more than 50 years studying Edgar Cayce, and hundreds of books of other spiritual leaders, I have finally chosen to be true to who I believe myself to be. I am a spiritual being having an experience in a human body. Of course this has been through LOTS of work on myself, going through intense courses with Michael Sheridan and his Aisling Dream Interpretation school and other great workers such as Anne Tucker, Janise Stoliarova (gentlehealingdreams.com) and fellow participants of the DreamsTeam (dreams-team.com) of which I am a member. Thank you very much!



As I step up to the plate learning about and using the spiritual gifts I’ve had all my life but only now discovering, I am finding the courage in my choices. Oh, not that I am going to hurt anyone, simply ensuring I am not hurting myself by stuffing me in an already overstuffed closet.



Ah the air I’m breathing is so clean and fresh. The truth is I find I do unusual things. I am a hypnotist and love doing regressions with clients but I also do what I call a Vision Walk where I guide you through my visions to help you find answers to an intention you set. I love it and it’s great fun but it’s really weird thinking that I, Roda, can do that. But, I’m here to tell you, I can. Ok. I said it out loud and what you think is your choice. I made mine.

Yep, pondering on this with you, it’s a cool way to work things through. It’s always nice to have a friend to talk things out with. Thanks for being there.



Roda


Wizard in Training